The Akron RubberDucks' advanced player evaluation system concluded that the team's maintenance staff represented superior athletic potential compared to the official roster, leading to Tuesday night's unprecedented lineup featuring groundskeepers, concession workers, and one parking lot attendant at shortstop.

The AI system, developed by Sports Analytics Dynamics and installed across 73 minor league franchises, analyzed three seasons of performance data before determining that head groundskeeper Miguel Santos possessed optimal launch angle tendencies based on his efficiency operating the outfield mowing equipment. The algorithm subsequently evaluated all stadium personnel through security camera footage and facilities management metrics.

'The AI kept flagging our third baseman's defensive positioning as suboptimal,' explained RubberDucks manager Tommy Watkins. 'Meanwhile, it rated Santos as having perfect spatial awareness because he never missed a spot while maintaining the infield. When the algorithm suggested we let him start at third base, we figured we'd already lost eight straight games anyway.'

Santos, who has worked stadium maintenance for six years but hasn't played organized baseball since high school, went 2-for-4 with a double in the team's 7-3 victory over the Erie SeaWolves. Concession coordinator Janet Liu, assigned to right field based on her 'superior projectile prediction capabilities' developed through nacho-throwing accuracy, recorded three assists.

'The AI basically said our grounds crew had better fundamentals than our infielders,' reported Sports Analytics Dynamics CEO Dr. Kevin Murphy. 'The system analyzed movement patterns, decision-making under pressure, and spatial reasoning. Apparently, people who maintain baseball fields understand baseball geometry better than people who just play on them.'

The RubberDucks are considering extending tryouts to their entire facilities staff after the AI recommended promoting the night security guard to cleanup hitter based on his consistent patrol route timing and conflict de-escalation statistics.

'I've been watching baseball for 40 years,' said season ticket holder Frank Kowalski. 'This was the first time our team looked like they actually knew where they were supposed to be standing.'