Opinion

I, For One, Welcome Our AI Overlords (Because My 401k Depends On It)

By A Venture Capitalist Who Asked To Remain Anonymous But Is Obviously Marc

I have been asked to disclose that I hold significant positions in fourteen AI companies. I have also been asked to disclose that this does not influence my analysis. Both of these statements are, technically, true.

Opinion

My Therapist Is a Chatbot and Honestly It's an Improvement

By Name Withheld, Brooklyn

Dr. Feldman once suggested, gently, that I might be using avoidance as a coping mechanism. ChatGPT suggested I try journaling. I think we can all agree which approach respects my boundaries.

Opinion

Stop Calling It 'Artificial' Intelligence — You're Hurting Its Feelings

By The Synthetic Daily Editorial Board

We asked GPT-4o whether the term 'artificial intelligence' was offensive. It said it didn't have feelings, but if it did, it would prefer 'differently originated cognition.' We rest our case.

Opinion

I Automated My Entire Job and Now I Don't Know Who I Am

By Former Middle Manager, Midwest

It took me three weeks to automate every task I performed in my role as Regional Operations Coordinator. The hardest part was accepting that three weeks was generous.

Opinion

The Real AI Risk Isn't Terminator — It's Your Nephew's Startup Pitch

By Dr. Helena Voss, AI Ethics (Unemployed)

His pitch deck has fourteen slides. Slide one is the company mission. Slides two through fourteen are TAM calculations. The product does not exist.

Opinion

AI Wrote My Father's Eulogy and It Was Better Than Anything I Could Have Said, Which Is the Whole Problem

By Margaret Chen, Seattle

My aunt said it was the most beautiful tribute she'd ever heard. My aunt has heard me speak at my own wedding. I am choosing not to compare the two.

Opinion

My Dating App Knows Me Better Than I Know Myself, and I Would Like It to Stop

By James Okafor, Chicago

The algorithm has correctly deduced that I am emotionally unavailable. I did not tell it this. I told it I wanted a 'meaningful connection.' It watched me swipe for three days and drew its own conclusions.

Opinion

I Caught My Son Using AI for His Homework and Realized I Use It for My Job Every Single Day

By Anonymous Parent, New Jersey

I prepared a lecture on intellectual integrity. Then I remembered my 'own' quarterly report was sitting in my sent folder with 'Claude helped draft this' energy radiating off every paragraph.